Sem break

Tolong adik adik buat kerja rumah
Kemas rumah
Baca balik buku pmr
Buat kek pahit
Baca novel
Lipat baju
Main game
Tulis novel
Stalk anak teruna orang
Berangan kawen dengan a perfect guy from nowhere
Bertarung dengan nyamuk
Hidup bersama kucing
Beli baju raya
Plan alumni gathering dengan kawan kawan sekolah menengah

Ape je yang aku buat cuti ni. Sangat tak produktif. Okay there are some that sound beneficial. 

I miss old me

A month at home is terrible.  I feel empty. I feel like singing Maroon 5's empty. I can't fast, so I can eat as many as I want when everybody else is starving. My body aint hungry, but my soul is. I'm not happy wih this.

A few days ago, a friend asked me on how to overcome this problem. She felt this emptimess inside her like what I'm feeling right now; I answered it pretty perfectly, I remember. She found my words to be very helpful. Guess, Talk is cheap. It didn't work on me as I don't put them into practice.  it's easier not to do anything rather than doing something. No wonder comes a proverb sounds " action speaks louder than words "

Just now, I heard a quran recitation by mishary. I feel calm and wanna cry. then I remember. 

 

I miss my God

 

Ready to go home.

Assalammualaikum y'alls.
So today is the day I ll be home again. The dinner last night was a blast. Everyone seems to have so much fun. Well as for me, I found myself was building walls with my guy friends. Maybe this is just another Allah's will to keep me within the limit. While the guys and the girls were enjoying taking pictures together I seem to be left out of place. Awkward... talking about taking pictures, don't anybody dare to take my candid picture. Gosh sumpah buruk. I will never let anybody to take photos of me from the right view. I look like a fish. A pretty fish of course.

I planned everything well today. But i bear in mind that Allah's plan is better. I kind of make a research of when will my commuter come, when will my bus come, etc. So I got myself prepared to solar jamak dan qasar ehem ehem. On the way to the bus stop, the bus is already there. As I walk faster, it leaves me. Waaaa. I'm like 2 minutes late. Huu I didn't cry , as if I'm so strong and I dont really know where the strength come from. I just need to wait for another half an hour, I guess. What else can I do. I saw many taxis not far from the bus stop. I'm thinking of taking a taxi, it might burn my money, but at least I wont waste my time. then abah's words rushes to my head. Abah says that it's not safe to ride a taxi all alone. Hm, yeah okay abah.

I saw this guy heading to one of the taxi. He looks like a student too. He seems to be around my age. He's wearing a backpack and obviously wants to go to the ktm too. I was thinking of going with him! I mean we can share the money, it would be cheaper. I don't know... my brain say yes, go for it. My heart says no. And my legs follow my heart hm. Okay fine, I'll just wait for the bus. It's going to be 8 times cheaper than taking a cab. No long after talking to myself, ummi rings me. I was like, yea yea I'm on the way, literally. Then ummi said that abah is about to fetch me as my uncle invites all of us to come over to kl for buka puasa. Oh. Alhamdulillah I didn't go with that guy. Allah, you always knows best. I love you. Ok ttyl, I've got to be ready. Ready to  re-pray as I did solat jamak and qasar earlier and cancel my journey.. ummi told me to wear baju kurung as she has this motherly instinct that her daughter is going to dress inappropriately as usual. Heehee

Mengidam

Huu first time update blog pakai fon. Eksaited,..
Hari ni, tak nape. Mengidam nasi lemak,
Then, aku keluar bilik 7sth, beli nasi lemak tepi jalan
Homaigod, banyak giler , for 1 ringgit,!
Aku datang awal kot, dia dah nak pack2 balik dah,.
Banyak sangat tau, biasanya aku akan simpan half for my lunch nanti.
But not today. I ate 3/4 ahhh! Raksasa. Ok fine nk enjoy my nasileymek

berangan

kuat berangan. ni penyakit aku aku sejak azali. mungkin saintifiknya, austism.
tak, gurau je. tp dalam family kitorang memang ada yang autism. tp aku masih boleh boleh communicate dengan orang cuma aku, susah focus; easily distracted. I have my own world. let's just say this is half autism as I still can control myself. aku tak bosan tinggal sorang sorang, sebab aku ada dunia aku sendiri. malah, aku suka tinggal sensorang, cakap sensorang, fikir sensorang. eh macam orang gila.

masalah ni sangatlah ketara, bila time critical readingggg. aku sangat tidak focus! susah nak faham jadinyaaa. aku sangat lambat.terberangan what happened yesterday, what will happen when I get married, and always be in my fantasy. I thought and thought and thought and thought of WHAT should I do to get rid of this disease..? I cant , I tried hard. I blogged my feelings and try to keep myself busy but, yet I still cant.

then come this idea rushing to my mind. boleh tak kau berangankan benda yang patut.
take the positive side, that is what people call it imagination.
even Einstein appreciates it. he said, imagination is the key to knowledge.
like in critical reading, use your imagination to imagine the thing you read. it's fun!. try it out ;)

why am I different?

Diri aku ni sangat lain dari orang. dari kecil aku rasa macam ni. but as I grow older, I found many people like me; I'm not alone. they are mainly from MRSM and university. In fact, I realize that I have so many similarities with my dad. not all of them as I have some of my umi's genes of course so I'm still finding myself. I keep asking people, what do they think of me. I get bogged down by the definitions they gave me. they tell me I'm different, but they can't figure out what are the examples. they said I'm different(weird), and they don't know how to describe. So people, let me just be this girl, you can never be. hahah

You Are More than What You Think You Are

Ini zaman dahulu punya cerita kiranya. Bukan cerita betul pun aku rasa. Oleh itu, aku minta maaflah kalau ada unsur-unsur mitos(tambahan) yang aku guna untuk sedapkan cerita ni, sebab tak berapa ingat.

Di dalam sebuah negeri, tinggal seorang raja yang mempunyai seorang anak gadis yang cantik. Tiba masa si puteri meningkat remaja, raja itu mahu menikahkannya dengan pemuda yang berani sekali gus menggantikan tempatnya mentadbir negeri yang sedia aman makmur. Lalu, baginda mengumpulkan semua rakyat jelata. Soal dimana, aku pun tidak tahu. Tetapi, lokasinya berdekatan dengan sebuah sungai yang penuh dengan buaya. Mungkin sungai dalam cerita Si Kancil, siapa tahu.

"Barangsiapa antara kalian yang berani melintasi sungai di sana, akan beta perkenankan hajatnya termasuklah menikahi anaknda puteri beta dan warisi semua harta kekayaan beta."

Rakyat jelata terpinga-pinga. Mana ada manusia yang sanggup mempertaruhkan nyawa untuk merenangi sungai itu. Realitinya, belum pernah ada. Si raja sedih menunggu lama. Tiba-tiba, kelibat seorang anak muda terjun tanpa disedari, dengan berani dia berenang sepantas kilat melintasi sungai maut itu dan akhirnya dia berjaya. Semua orang menepuk tangan dengan kuat sejurus selepas pemuda itu berdiri semula di atas tanah dengan termengah-mengah. Sungguh berani.

Raja yang muram tadi bertukar gembira. Senyuman hingga ke telinga kelihatannya. Baginda menghampiri pemuda yang berani itu. "Tahniah, anak muda! Ini lah saat yang beta tunggu-tunggu" Baginda seraya bertanya. "Lalu, apakah yang kamu hajati? "

"Aku mahu tahu, siapa yang menolakku ke dalam sungai tadi?"